The Republic of Upper Hayastan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by President Mehmet Aksoy with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical population of 1.624 billion Hayastanians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Public Transport are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gopaprica. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15.1%.

The very strong Hayastanian economy, worth 93.2 trillion Yougns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 57,380 Yougns, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 175,284 per year while the poor average 14,559, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

President Mehmet Aksoy has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences, people are bored of easy crossword puzzles, you can tell when Hayastanians are being snarky by the fact their lips are moving, and Upper Hayastan has designated Gopaprica as its capital city. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Upper Hayastan's national animal is the Goat, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Yellowism.

Upper Hayastan is ranked 120,282^nd in the world and 90^th in Barbaria for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 1,687.26 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.